Brian Sewell

What The F*ck, You're Gay, Get Over It


posted 06 July 2011

So I was fingering the local 'rags' this morning when I came across one of the most inappropriate  and pointless articles I think I have ever had the pleasure of reading.  And I do take great pleasure in reading this type of shit. The guff  that you just know will be all over the Social networks, like cum all over a whore's bed sheets.  I am of course referring to Brian Sewell's rather unnecessary tirade on the homosexual characters that tread the cobbles of TV's Coronation Street. 

Sewell, who was born in 1931 within the leafy, London borough of Kensington, claims that soaps such as Coronation Street do not portray real working class northern folk:  "This Coronation Street is not good old grubby Lancashire, but just a turning away from Footballers' Wives — a fantasy world of a working class with money to burn" Because, of course, Brian Sewell would know all about the lives of the working class folk. Here is a man so far removed from the working class he wouldn't be able to tell you the difference between a pork scratching and a battered sausage.  

He then wittered on about the high amount of gays and dykes in the show:  "There's too much, not only of gay men – who are estimated to make up just six per cent of the population, but who dominate the storylines in the soap – but also of lesbians, bisexuals, the trans-gender community, cross-dressers and everyone else with some sexual quirk or fetish."

"Is it true that the lives of heterosexual Mancunians are haplessly intertwined with transvestites, transsexuals, teenage lesbians and a horde of homosexuals across the age range? Is Manchester now the Sodom of the North?"

Err yes Brian! Have you not been down Canal Street on a Saturday night? Even the mighty Jeremy Joseph (the gay community's version of Sir Alan Sugar) has made the pilgrimage up to the sunny north.

This rather tedious piece of journalism then goes down a more paranoid and sinister route, accusing the BBC of using EastEnders as a platform for "sexual propaganda and special pleading".

All this from a man who claims to be bisexual. A 79 year old bisexual I might add, who quite openly (if this articles anything to go by) hates his sexual orientation. A man that seems to be pining for his own glory days of 25 years ago when, indeed Coronation Street was grimy, predominantly heterosexual and ultimately shit. 

Surely it's not the soaps that are out of touch with reality but Brian Sewell, who longs for return of the Iron Lady and the subsequent demonising of the working class. Where northerners are portrayed as proletarian drones that simply work, have kids, drink heavily and die in the same grubby houses they grew up in.  

The majority of modern Britain accepts the gays now Brian, isn't it time you did? Or are you happy to wallow in your own self loathing?

Craig Ford

  • lifestyle

    London Pride 2011 – If You Blow That Whistle One More Time...

    Mothers lock up your sons, husbands and any other vulnerable male who's arse hasn't been surgically sealed shut, cause the gays are about to descend upon London in full force. Yes its Gay Pride, a day where every poofter across London can shout out in one, unified voice: "I am gay and proud!" But as the years trundle by and we acquire more and more rights, has pride lost its voice? Do we even need a Pride anyone more?

    01 July 2011

  • celebrity

    Anna Paquin Talks About The Troubles Bisexuals Face

    True Blood's Anna Paquin recently revealed that she was a big, greedy gobble guts. Who likes to stick her fat, grubby fingers in all the various types of sexy-time pies. Now she has spoken out about the apparent prejudices' bisexual folk face on a day to day basis...Well pick a side then love!

    28 June 2011

  • news

    Transgender Woman Demands A Ban On Drag Queens

    A transgender lady is having a right old strop over her local Pride festivities. According to the grumpy old post-op, drag queens should be banned from the parade or forced to publish a disclaimer, explaining that they are gay men and not trans-women... Good lord, has the 'op' sent her doo-lally or something?

    21 June 2011

  • sport

    Online Study Shows Just How Homophobic Football Really Is.

    A new study suggests that internet forums for football fans illustrate the extreme homophobic views that plague the game...And people needed to conduct a 'study' to discover this? Jesus Christ and his sandals, whatever next! What an absolute fucking waste of time.

    17 June 2011

  • tv

    BBC Receives Complaints (From Idiots) Over EastEnders Gay Scene

    So what could have possibly caused 150 licence-fee paying viewers to call in and complain? Was it Whitney's torturous decline into child prostitution? Nope that seems fine for pre-watershed viewing. Could it have been the utterly depressing tale of Ronnie, swapping her dead baby for her friends and passing it off as her own? Nah, people do that all the time, big deal. No, all that death and sex is fine but stick a couple of gays lying in bed having a chat and its anarchy on the streets! And they weren't even fucking!

    15 June 2011