Poor Chris Birch thought he had it all, a lovely fiancée, a nice job at the bank and a good bunch of burley, men-pals to play hideous sports with. He didn’t know of, or care to know of, any gay folk in his life. But little did Chris know what fate had in store for him and being the devilish creature that fate is, he would never have guessed in a million years. Heterosexuals read on at your peril as the straight mans nightmare, becomes a reality… If you’re gay don’t worry, you can just read on as you normally would.
After suffering a stroke Chris claims he became a different man. He began to hate sports, quit his job at the bank to pursue a career in hairdressing and, according to his mother, became very sarcastic. Now you are probably starting to suspect the obvious but let me just pop the final nail in the coffin for you. He then began to notice that he rather fancied men.
Chris told the Daily Mirror: “I’d always had girlfriends and never really had any problems dating women. I wasn’t exactly a lean hunk but I knew how to talk to women. But the biggest relationship for me was with my ex, Jemma*. We had been dating for a few years when I proposed and she said yes.
“My family were made up and I could see myself spending the rest of my life with her. I assumed we would get married, settle down and have kids.”
Unfortunately for Chris, after an argument in 2005 with his fiancée, he decided to kick back with his mates and do what most heterosexual men enjoy doing. No not attending the local lap dancing club but a cheeky game of football down the park. As his mood lightened he felt the need to perform a summersault (who knows how these straight folk think at times) and this is where it all went tits up. Chris had landed in an odd position and snapped his neck, which had made his body suffer a stroke. His pals called the paramedics and when Chris arrived in Royal Gwent Hospital his family were waiting for him.
“The first thing I remember is seeing my mum by my bed. It sounds strange but when I came round I immediately felt different.
“Doctors explained what had happened, that I would need months of physio to get back to how I was before. So to begin with, all my attention was focused on recovery. “When I was finally let out of the hospital I moved back in with Mum and started physio. I had to learn to walk, eat, even speak again and all my family were supporting me, hoping they would see the old Chris come back soon enough.”
But the old Chris never returned and, much to the horror of his friends and family, a new Chris emerged. He left his fiancée, quit his job and began expressing his creative side through the art of hair cutting. And then, of course, there was his new taste in men.
“I was watching TV one day when a really handsome guy came on. I felt my stomach flutter and the same feelings I used to have for pretty girls came across me. I had never felt like that about a man before but I knew immediately what the feeling was. I fancied him,”
Obviously worried, Chris sought advice from his neurologist, who said the changes in his personality, appearance and sexuality could all be down to the stroke, opening up a different part of his brain.
So beware all you gay-hating, macho, morons out there. Your time may be coming!
And as for Chris…
“I think I’m happier than ever, so I don’t regret the accident. I don’t question myself anymore and don’t care what people think, I’m just me,” he says.
Chris has been with his new boyfriend Jack Powell, for 18 months and lives with him above the salon he works in. He says: “I’m happy with the way I am now and although I’m sorry it’s upset my family, I wouldn’t change a thing.”
What a lovely, gay-friendly, happy ending! There’s hope for all those beer swigging goons yet.
Craig Ford