Canada’s most beloved gay couple, Buddy and Pedro, may be on the verge of splitting up this week after Buddy was caught ‘knocking off’ another woman. It’s not clear if Pedro knows of the affair but the rest of Canada have expressed their shock and anguish over the ordeal. It might be worth mentioning that the gay couple in question are a pair of little, fucking penguins. *FACEPALM*
‘Greedy Bottom’ Pedro aged 10 and ‘Dom Top’ Buddy, aged 20 had been gay dating and cohabiting in a nest they had built together at Toronto zoo. They had even adopted an abandoned egg and had been raising the chick as their own…God these really are they gayest penguins I’ve ever heard of. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve got a Jacuzzi and a sling in their nest.
That all changed when the pair of cock hungry birds were split up by the zoo in an attempt to get them to breed.
Tom Mason, the zoo’s Curator of Invertebrates and Birds, told Pink News that this move was necessary, but only temporary. He went on to say: “The population is good but we have to be careful to ensure that all individuals or as many as possible have genetic representation within the community. This will maximize the chances of survival of the population.”
Mr Mason said: “There will be a limited time of separation but it will not be permanent. No matter what happens all the penguins will be re-united by spring. If Pedro and Buddy wish to get back together, they will be welcome to do so.”
But it looks like Buddy may not want to get back together with poor Passive Pedro. Buddy has been banging the brains out of some tarty little female penguin during their forced split. Unfortunately Pedro who, unlike his cheating spouse, has never had sex with a girl, still hasn’t been able to bring himself to cheat on Buddy.
The world waits with baited breath as to what will happen when they finally reunite in spring.
I really don’t care about all this but if I did… I would have absolutely no sympathy for these stupid, sodomite penguins. What a typical pair of gays they are. Rushing into getting a place together, ignoring all their friends, making out that their love is the stuff of wet dreams. But as soon as it gets a little rough going you can bet your big, fat, hairy bottom that the fickle gay will show his true colours. And, low and behold, they’ve only been apart 5 minutes and already Buddy’s got his big, ugly dick firmly inside another penguin. It’s nice to know the fickle gay world we live in is universal across all species. MOVE ON PEDRO! HE’S NO GOOD!
Craig Ford
(Follow Craig on Twitter: @craigyboy84 @GayNetworkChat)